He had never been attracted to another bloke the way that he was attracted to Remus. Of course, he had no problem admitting that other boys were attractive and he was open to anything, really, but he never thought about them in the way he thought about Remus. After they started dating, he never thought about anyone in the way he thought about Remus, boys and girls alike. Thus he came to the conclusion that he was most definitely Remus-sexual, much to the embarrassment of Remus when Sirius felt the need to announce it in the Great Hall during their seventh year.
What Sirius wouldn’t admit to was that he could possibly be anything other than straight or Remus-sexual. Being raised as he was, he had been taught to believe that it was his duty as the Black heir to get married and carry on the family tree. Anything else was wrong and prohibited. While Remus knew that Sirius was probably bisexusal with a preference for girls, Sirius only thought of himself as Remus-sexual. It was easier for him to not think about this one extra way in which he was a disgrace.
He had found a job in a muggle bookshop in a shabby part of London. It had been like any other day of restocking bookshelves and helping customers find what they were looking for. The old, muggle radio had been softly playing in the background. At exactly 2:07 in the afternoon, the soft sounds of Paul McCartney’s song for John Lennon, Here Today, began drifting from the small contraption through the empty shop.
But as for me,
I still remember how it was before
And I am holding back the tears no more.
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I love you, ooh.
Remus lifted his hand to wipe at the unfamiliar warmth running down his cheek. He left work early that day, returning to his sad excuse for a flat, and searched through the stations on his muggle radio for that song. Listening to it alone in his flat, Remus finally let out everything he had been holding inside for over a year as he wished for everything back. He wished for James and Lily and Peter to be alive. he wished he had been able to spend more time with Harry. But most of all, he wished that Sirius was beside him because—goddamn him—Remus couldn’t ever stop loving him.
He was too shocked. James, Lily, and Peter were all dead, and it because of Sirius. His Sirius. The Sirius he had trusted so implicitly for nearly ten years. The Sirius who had said he would rather die than betray his friends. The Sirius who had blamed him for being the traitor.
Remus Lupin was physically incapable of crying despite the drowning feeling inside of him.
All he could do was sit in his flat—the one that had previously belonged to both him and Sirius—and stare at dying fire from the previous evening. His closest friends were gone, and Sirius, that murdering, betraying, lying bastard, still had his heart.
Upon hearing of the death of John Lenonn, the pair resigned to escaping from the war brewing around them to honour the man who so firmly stood for peace. Beatles’ music could be heard constantly throughout the day as they sat around drinking butterbeer and singing their favourite songs at the top of their lungs. The last song they listened to was Imagine by John Lennon himself, as they were so easily able to apply it to the war that, in less than a year, would tear apart their world.
He would willingly give his life if it meant keeping those closest to him safe. However, the one person he was almost over-protective of was Remus. From the first time he saw the scars on the boy’s face, Sirius had wanted to save him. He was willing to go to any length to keep Remus protected from the world.
He was, in fact, demisexual, meaning he did not experience sexual attraction until he formed a strong emotional connection with someone. That someone happened to be Sirius Black. Because of the intimacy of their friendship, Remus eventually developed an attraction for his best friend.
After the first full moon—when the wolf had to establish its dominance—the two canines were practically playmates. Their bonding during the full moons seemed to carry over into their human relationship. Only after the Marauders had successfully become animagi did Remus and Sirius truly become even closer than they had been before.